Can't connect to USeast

[:1]I haven't played diablo 2 in a year, I lost my CD keys so I had to go and buy another 45$ battle chest.

After the installation I went on, only to meet with some problems because I'm running windows 7. After fixing them I go on to USeast, wont connect me, at all. This is not a temp ban because I haven't even gotten on yet.

I've tried running the program in Administrator, tried restarting my modem, tried leaving the modem off for a few minutes and restarting it.

I tried this thing with the run>cmd, its suppose to show you if port 6112 is open. Apparently mine isn't. So I followed these annoying instructions, only to get at a brick wall. That site with all the yellow flashy crap on it, the list of modems. It didn't have mine, f**king lovely. So I picked one that was similar to my name. I further followed the instructions, and it brought me to a site where it asks for my username and password.

I don't have a f**king username on this random a** site, no registration. So I thought I'd use the name of my private cable internet, and use the password. Didn't work.

What the hell am I suppose to do? I can't forward my f**king ports and everything else doesn't work.

Blizzard has gone to f**king sh*t since I've last played.|||Alright, I tried port forwarding ports 4000 and 6112 ~ 6119, and that didn't work.

I'm not temp ban because I haven't even gotten on yet.